HA!  As if I have any profound thoughts of any kind anymore.

Most of my thoughts these days are as follows:

1) I need a nap.

2) I wonder if anyone can smell the spit-up in my hair.

3) I need a nap.

4) Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

Awhile back a group I belonged to posed the question, “What most surprised you about motherhood?”  I joined in with a chorus of other women who all agreed how surprising it is that we can function on so little sleep.

I’d like to issue a retraction.  I am most certainly not functioning.  At least not on any level that could be considered normal.  The very fact that I even suggested I was functioning is proof that I am not lucid.  How could I be?  I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep in almost six months.  Scratch that.  I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep since my third trimester!  This baby was keeping me up well before her 3 AM feedings.

OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration.  At around three months old Elisabeth gave me a few nights of 6 or 7 hours of consecutive sleep.  It was glorious!  But it was all a tease.  Since spending the last few months traveling all over the states – and the world! – poor Baby has been waking up around 17,000 times a night.  And surprise, surprise – if Baby is up 17,000 times a night, so am I.  Hence the lack of brain function and general zombie-like state.

My most oft-used phrases now include “I forgot” and “I’m losing my mind.”  It’s a shame, too.  It once was a pretty decent mind.

But Seriously – I say “I’m losing my mind” at least three times a day.  Most of the time to Elisabeth, as she is the person I spend most of my time with.  And who wouldn’t lose their mind when they spend the majority of their hours babbling to a little person who doesn’t understand or respond to them?

Not the I’m complaining.  I’m now mildly amused when I look down at my feet and realize I’m wearing the wrong shoes.  Or when I go to unlock a car that is not mine.  Or when I stop mid-sentence because I can’t remember what I was going to say.  Some of you who know me may suggest I was like that before Elisabeth came along.  Fair enough.  But motherhood has taken “scatter-brained” to a whole new level.

Of course this is in no way unique.  And of course there are the amazing moms who actually are fully functioning on little to no sleep.  To those of you out there, I applaud you.  And now, please tell me how you do it.

As for it being Mother’s Day, I don’t have much to say as I am almost at my daily allotted adult-word count.  All I know is I’m spending it alone with Elisabeth, as my husband had to leave with one day’s notice to go do jet-pilot things.  What?!  The Navy doesn’t care that my husband is going to miss my first Mother’s Day!  Gasp!  Excuse me while I pull out my violin.

Really, it’s okay.  I’m lucky to have an adorable daughter who brings me great joy and doesn’t care that my vocabulary no longer includes words longer than two syllables.  And when I wrote up above that I’m alone – that’s not exactly true.  I’m on a base with a lot of other moms whose husbands also had to leave unexpectedly.  I don’t know many of these moms yet, but I know that they are pretty kick-ass to be raising kids in this kind of unpredictable and often stressful lifestyle.

And lastly, what kind of DAUGHTER would I be if I didn’t give a shout-out to my own mom this Mother’s Day!?  My mom has always been great (does your mom bake you cake every time you come home to visit?) but she’s especially been my rock these past few months as I clumsily try to figure out this whole mom-thing.  Thank you, Mom!  Becoming a mom myself has given me a whole new appreciation for you.  And I hope you forgive me for forgetting – of course – to send you flowers.  :-/  Love you!

Now all you readers – go thank your moms!

Three generations