To anyone that has any connection to Matt Nathanson, please feel free to pass this along.

Dear Matt Nathanson,

I am loving Modern Love.  Seriously.  It’s on repeat on my iPod.  I sing along at a louder-than-acceptable volume, considering I’m singing while on walks through my neighborhood.  Sure, I get some awkward looks from fellow walkers, joggers, bikers, small children and dogs, but that is how much I love the album.  And I really, really want to see you live.

Problem: You are not touring anywhere near my hometown in southeastern Virginia.  I considered making the 4-5 hour drive to Washington D.C. to catch your show there, however I was advised that at eight months pregnant, I should avoid unnecessary driving to see a concert that will likely go way beyond my bedtime anyway.  I had to concur, though with great regret.

So I have a proposition for you: You come play a private show in my home.  In exchange, I will cook you a homemade meal.  I bet you don’t get a lot of homemade meals on tour, am I right?  OK, maybe you don’t want a homemade meal (if you’ve read this, I don’t blame you), but I can purchase some excellent takeout.  I promise my husband won’t mind.  In fact, he probably won’t even be here!

Does that creep you out?  I promise I’m not some crazy-stalker fan.  In fact, I know absolutely nothing about your personal life.  If you’re still creeped out, I am sure I can scrounge up some other ladies that would be willing to watch you perform live in my home.  I’ll hit up my pre-natal yoga class.

In fact, we can spin this as some sort of community outreach project!  Music is supposed to be good for babies, right?  Think of all the good you would be doing for all those babies in utero! Developing their brains song after song.  The press would be great!  Not to mention, I’ve read that when a baby is exposed to music in the womb, the same music can have a calming affect on them once they are born.  I smell record sales!  My fellow moms-to-be will be dying to buy your album in order to soothe their crying children.  You’re probably thinking, “How many pregnant women can she possibly know?”  It’s true, not that many.  But in this economy, every sale counts, right?

You would also be doing me a great personal service.  You see, the last time I saw a contemporary concert was Coldplay in 2005.  As in, six years ago.  My last three concerts were The Bangles, Eddie Money, and Bon Jovi.  Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Bon Jovi, but I need to enter the modern age.  I think you are the man to help me do so.

Lastly, I mentioned here that I am on a quest to make more friends in my community.  I’ve made some progress, but I think a private performance for the preggos could seriously up my social standing in town.  So.  That’s all I’ve got.  Have your people call email my people (me) and we’ll work something out.

Look forward to hearing from you,

Diana