Not gonna lie – I totally got sucked into the Royal Baby Watch.  So when Baby George was born last week, and Kate and William made their first appearance on the hospital steps as a family of three, I got giddy.  How cute did they look?  So cute.  …Maybe too cute?

After leaving the hospital, a bunch of idiotic commentators who have apparently never seen a woman after giving birth seemed shocked – just shocked! – at Kate’s belly.  Some even deemed it unsightly.  What the heck, people?  First of all, stop hating on the hormonal new mom.  How rude.  Second of all, were we looking at the same princess?

Kate looked freakin’ awesome!  …Maybe too awesome?  Seriously – who looks that fantastic 24 hours after having a baby!?

I like Kate Middleton.  Or rather, I like the image of her that is portrayed in the media.  Though I’d probably rather head out for a night on the town with Pippa, Kate seems just lovely.  She has a great fashion sense, and she seems down-to-earth.  (Heck, she wears her gorgeous designer outfits more than once!) So relatable.

But then she goes and has a baby, and turns up one day later looking like this:

COME ON, Kate!  That’s just not right.

I mean, good for her for looking Vogue-cover worthy a day after labor.  I’m just not entirely convinced she actually gave birth; Prince George may be an imposter baby.  I have a hard time believing that anyone – even Kate Middleton – looks that great so soon after delivering a baby.  Sure, I get that she is a princess and probably had a team of stylists that prepped her for her first post-baby public appearance, but still.  Is she a magic princess?  A magic princess who shows no signs of physical exhaustion or pain?

When I was discharged from the hospital after having Elisabeth, I was wrecked.  After being awake for some ungodly amount of time (thanks, Elisabeth, for the 21 hours of labor), the next two nights in the hospital were anything but restful.  I remember doctors or nurses coming into my room every hour or two to check on me or the baby.  I hardly got the rest one needs to recover from such a physically draining feat as labor and delivery.  I imagine it is this way for most women.  Even a princess.

For comparison’s sake (and because I don’t mind embarrassing myself on the internet), here is a photo of me returning home 2 days after Elisabeth was born:

Puffy (thank you, water retention!), exhausted, wearing sweat pants and a tee-shirt that nobody bothered to tell me was revealing my post-baby tummy.  And this is a good picture.  Obviously, I forgot to pack my designer dress.  Next baby.

Like I said before, good for Kate for looking so ridiculously amazing a mere 24 hours after giving birth.  I’m just saying, I think she set the bar a little high for the rest of us commoners.  That is, if she even had the baby, at all.  😉

It’s okay, though.  I’ll still be her friend.  I’ll have to put aside my petty jealousies anyway or else it will be super awkward when Elisabeth marries Prince George.  (My parents have it all planned out:  Yes, Elisabeth is a little older and an American, but she and the future King will meet and fall in love while attending grad school at Cambridge.  I’d like to emphasize this is my parent’s plan, not mine.  Though I’m totally on board with it.)

But really, a belated congratulations to the Royal Family, and good luck these first few weeks and months.  I’m sure even the princess is an exhausted, elated, nervous, hormonal mess, just like all new moms.