I cannot think of anything more fitting for a fourth child than his birth story being written a year after his birth. So here goes.

Theodore William was born the third week in May, a solid 8lbs 7 oz and blue as a blueberry.

I love babies. I make very cute babies, which is probably why I have so many of them. That being said, I hate being pregnant. I am not even a little sad that this pregnancy was my last. In October of 2021, early in my first trimester, I got Covid, leading to a fun game I got to play every day called, “Covid or Pregnancy?” This went on for weeks. I was sick and exhausted and quarantining with three kids while my husband was in training out of state – it was terrible.

In February, toward the end of my second trimester, I busted my ankle in a freak Peloton accident. I had a gnarly gash and either a bad bone bruise or a minor fracture. Have you ever seen a pregnant woman on crutches? It is very pathetic. Then I got a walking boot. A pregnant woman in a walking boot is also very pathetic. Four weeks in a boot turned into six. I was able to preboard a couple of flights I took during that time, so I guess there was a silver lining.

Soon after I was able to bear weight on my ankle, I resumed exercising only to strain my back. This is elder millennial geriatric pregnancy for you. All I know is I never broke my ankle or strained my back in my non-geriatric pregnancies. Illness and injuries aside, the pregnancy itself was relatively smooth. My morning sickness wasn’t as bad as with my previous pregnancy. I had less random aches and pains. And after three pregnancies with nine months of unbearable heartburn my OB finally prescribed me something that actually helped. Teddy was healthy throughout, so I really have nothing to complain about. Except the Covid. And the crutches. That sucked.

Because Damon was living out of state, we planned an induction at 39 weeks to ensure he would be present at the birth. We did the same thing for our last baby, and all went smoothly. (Welcome to family planning in the Navy.) As I got farther along my doctors started to warn me that I might not make it to 39 weeks – at 37 weeks I had already progressed quite a bit. I became convinced I was going to go into labor in the middle of the night and be unable to reach anyone to take me to the hospital and/or stay with the other kids. I was also worried that if I went into labor before my induction, I wouldn’t have time to get an epidural and maybe not even make it to the hospital at all. I’ve heard too many horror stories about fourth babies (and even third babies!)  born in cars or elevators or other places not-the-hospital. No, thank you. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life.

The weird thing about labor is that even when you’ve done it once – or thrice – you completely forget what it feels like. There were several nights I convinced myself I was going into labor because I just wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was normal. Braxton Hicks, maybe? How could I not know?! I don’t know! It’s wild. Basically, I was neurotic and irrational. Thankfully I have lovely, kind friends who left their phone notifications on at night to humor me, and I am very appreciative of them.

Teddy stayed put, Damon made it home in time, and we went to the hospital on a Friday morning. I was induced around 9:15am and received an epidural immediately. With Kate, I tried to wait it out a bit but – why? I’ve got nothing to prove. I know a lot of women who choose natural births – and that’s great! You do you! I know other women say they don’t like needles, but like, do they understand the alternative? As for me, give me all the drugs. I want to feel nothing. I will bond with my baby just fine without experiencing the excruciating pain of childbirth. I mean, did you read the last few paragraphs? I had suffered enough!

Teddy was born 4 – maybe 4-1/2? – hours later. (It’s been a year. The details are a little hazy.) The labor was uneventful. The delivery was fast – one push, maybe two. In fact, it was so fast that poor baby was completely bruised. The first thing the nurse said was, “He’s fine! He’s blue but he’s fine! He’s just bruised!” The kid’s entire face was one giant bruise. It was very sad, but it didn’t seem to bother him, and thankfully it faded quickly.

In a strange twist of fate, my sister-in-law delivered her baby that same night, and Teddy and his cousin are forever bonded by their shared birthday. But that’s not my story to tell, other than that I’m thrilled my kids finally have a cousin!

I think because Teddy was my fourth, the L&D nurses all thought I’d want to be discharged as soon as possible. No, no – the opposite, actually. Did they forget about the three kids at home? To give you a sense of my mental state at the time, at one point during the end of my pregnancy I accidentally referred to the hospital as my hotel. But truly – I was in no rush to go home. Two nights in a hospital with only one baby to take care of, where people bring me meals, and whisk the baby to the nursery for a few hours so I can sleep? That’s the closest thing I’ve had to a vacation in a long time. Can I have a third night, please? But it was as if the staff was trying to kick me out! “You’re leaving after 24 hours, correct?” they kept asking. NO. NOT CORRECT. I HAVE EARNED MY 48 HOURS. I did get my 48 hours, and they were bliss. Because even with the constant interruptions that accompany a hospital stay it was still more restful than had I been at home with my two-year-old.

We snuck home late Sunday morning while the kids were at church so we could surprise them with the baby when they got back. It was a disaster. Absolute chaos! And it has been chaos ever since. Fun chaos! Happy chaos! But chaos.

After the fastest-longest year ever, we recently celebrated Teddy’s first birthday. He has been and continues to be the smiliest, sweetest baby. He’s the kind of baby that tricks you into having more babies. (Not me, but other people maybe.) It has not been an easy year – four kids is a lot of kids! –  but it’s been a joyful one, and I’m so grateful he completed our family.

I love reading birth stories, and would love to read yours if you’d like to share!